Friday, 4 September 2015

WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS. Actually don't, I've got stuff to do.

Every year I get to September and I makes attempts to sort my life out. September feels like a new year, a new start, and an opportunity to reflect, make changes and get things done. In some ways, it’s a really exciting time and it feels productive: like I’m actively doing things to make myself happier and my life easier. Simultaneously, it’s a scary time because you start remembering the things you’d planned on doing last September, and you become increasingly aware of all the responsibilities you’ve spent the summer repressing.

R E F L E C T I O N 

It’s my final year of university: the last 2 years have gone so quickly but so slowly. I’ve wished for this day and I’ve dreaded it. But now I’ve got to deal with it. Last September I promised myself I’d find myself a more settled place to live, I’d do more reading and I’d do more volunteering. I did all of those things, though perhaps not in the way I’d anticipated. This year I hope to make it through a year living in Sussex without losing my mind, do even more reading, and finish my finals with minimal, but reasonable, stress. This time last year I was preparing myself to be applying for graduate jobs now. This September, I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want to do that now. I hoped that I’d be in a clearer position about what I wanted to do and, in some ways, I am – but the clearest of those thoughts is that I don’t want a graduate job, at least not yet. Making this decision has urged me to reflect on my years in education: the seemingly senseless transition from GCSEs to A Levels to university, you do what you’re told and you don’t question it. It’s a rigid cycle and one I’m keen to get out of as soon as I can. This September I’m planning a post-graduation year out. A year in which I have many Septembers to make changes, make myself happier and reflect; and a year in which to do something different, something fun and something for me.

M A K I N G . C H A N G E S

Change no. 1: moving home for my final year of uni, which I’m yet to decide whether it’ll be the best decision ever, or the absolute worst. Ultimately it’s not a decision I have much choice in, I’m too poor for you, London.
Change no. 2: do things that make me happy and don’t worry too much about what I’m expected to do. I hate saying no, but I hate doing the crap expected of me by other people even more.
Change no. 3: doing some exercise again: I vow to kick box and do ballet.
Change no. 4: accepting that dairy is the devil and that a Dairy Milk isn’t worth it.
Change no. 5: making the effort to do the things that I know will benefit me and make me happy, even if it’s difficult.

G E T T I N G . T H I N G S . D O N E 

I look at this phrase and I see DISSERTATION in flashing lights in my head. By the time September does end, I need to have made some serious headway with my dissertation – but it’s something I know I need to continue to momentum with until March. This is pretty daunting, and feels like an impossible enthusiasm to sustain. I know I will get there though, it’s not really that hard, I’ve got to find people who will reveal all about their dating lives. What I’m more excited about getting done is planning my post-uni gap year. I currently feel like the world is my oyster, and then I look at the cost of flights relative to my bank balance. It’s amazing though: I feel like it’s a bit of a puzzle that I’ve got to try and make work, and what better motivation to do that than the prospect of travelling with your friends, boyfriend, and making a good start on your bucket list? Getting things done has never been so tempting.

So whilst I’m already mourning summer holidays, breakfast in the garden and flip flops, I feel like this year could be a good one. It feels a bit like the beginning of the end, in a good way. It’s repetition and revision for the last time (for a year at least). 

YAY for change, YAY for getting things done, YAY for September. 

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